This morning I was looking online for a reminder about how to adjust bra band size in relation to the cup size. As I’m doing that, I find this link with the accompanying video: http://www.wikihow.com/Unhook-a-Bra
Now, really, at first I thought this article was geared towards girls who didn’t have anyone to ask. Ok, I guess I can go there but really it made me sad that in today’s society there were still girls who felt like they had no one to reach out to. I would have hoped, with all of our advancements, that we’d be beyond the 1950′s. Then, however, I read this line:
“(This can be done via a pinching action of one’s fingers, even through a top, much to her astonishment.)”
Wow. suddenly this “resource” jumped in my mind from “wow, ok, this could be a good resource for girls who need it, but gee, it’s sad that girls still need this” to ”what the hell are we (as a society) doing putting a wiki page up for guys to learn how to take a girls’ bra off?” That was all *before* I saw the video.
Now, I’m really not a prude. I read and write erotic fiction for crying out loud. I am, however, a proponent for teaching our children to have respect. Respect for others, but also for themselves. Where is that message in this? I’m a firm believer in the theory: we get exactly the kind of adults we deserve. Meaning, we get the kind of adults based on the kinds of children we, as a society, teach and raise. What kind of generation are we going to deserve?
So, then I have to ask myself, what are we reaching out there and teaching them? ”Much to her astonishment?” Are you kidding me? If she’s astonished that you’re taking her bra off, we need to pause a moment and consider what that statement really says. Why are we not teaching them that? Why are we not teaching our girls that they can put the brakes on and say, “whoa, wait” or even that they can, and should, take their own bra off? What we really need to be teaching our boys and young men that it’s not okay to be “astonishing” (her) by magically removing her bra. We need to teach them to slow down. Talk about it. What’s the rush? Maybe I feel a little like Melissa Harris-Perry this morning. It’s not that I don’t know that this happens, but I think it needs to be addressed. We need to see what’s out there – what we’re teaching our younger generations and what message we’re giving them (or not giving them).
If you continue after the video, there are multiple other videos “How to hide a hickey,” ”How to tell your boyfriend he’s a bad kisser,” (ok, so that one might be valid… I don’t know, I didn’t look), and, truly, the top of this rather auspicious list, “How to put a move on a girl while watching a movie.”
This has really gotten my dander up. So weigh in and tell me what you think. Am I just old fashioned and really, when it comes to our kids, a prude? Are these “wiki” articles/videos as truly unpalatable as I feel it is. Should we be teaching/coaching/etc our younger men and women how to do these things (or that these things are acceptable) – or is it just another wiki page and in this age of computer everything lives, is this just another way to “go to your friends” and get the answers?