Yet, a midst all of the things swirling in my brain, the countless lists and details to be organized, my heart replays a conversation between my brother, mother, and myself just the other night wherein he said “It’s Memorial Day.  I just don’t feel like it would be appropriate to be hosting a D&D game on that day.”

When I think of Memorial Day, I think of my grandfathers.  Both were amazing men – One I had for such a brief time but whom I adored and have the most wonderful flittering memories of.  The other, in my life long enough to teach me to say “Semper Fi” and the words to the Marine Corps song.  Things like “No Marine Left Behind.”  I think of my great uncle who I never got to meet.  My mind wanders over the many generations in our family who served – some came home to their families, others did not.

I think of my trip to DC in 2002.  Those who know me know that I’m a political historical junkie.  I love American history.  I love politics.  I love all of those things.  But it wasn’t the Washington Monument or the National Mall, or even the Lincoln Memorial that got me.  It was the tour into Arlington Cemetery.  Never have I been somewhere that drew me down in front of an anonymous marker and wrung out tears of such anguish or questions from deep within my soul about who that person was – who had loved them – or even, simply, had they come home from serving their country at all?  The stop at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier was cause for so many more tears.  I spent most of my “tourist” day in Arlington Cemetery, paying respects and saying ‘thank you’ to as many of the soldiers as possible – none of whom I had any connection to at all, except that they served my country with honor and pride and deserved nothing less from me.

Then my mind flashed forward to this past year and the first time I saw this photo:

If you haven’t been introduced, please meet Mrs. 2nd Lt. James Cathey and read her story.  I challenge any of you to go to that site and read her story and not to breakdown right along with her as you watch her cling to the Marines who carried her pregnant body through those awful days as she clung to them like a lifeline.  The Marine who stayed the night, there with her and her husband, ever faithful – watching them both.  I will never, ever know how he managed to do so, but I will forever be grateful that he did. I can only imagine that his presence brought her some grain of comfort in an time of inexplicable heartache.  I can’t make it through this post without shedding my own tears – and there he stood – ever faithful – ever a Marine.   To him I say, you exemplify “Semper Fi.”

I’m sure Mrs. Cathey never dreamed her final moments with her family – her as-yet unborn son, who would be name James Cathey Jr; and her husband, 2nd Lt. James Cathey – would become the iconic image of today’s military families, but it has, just as surely as any image of a soldier standing in Arlington or kneeling in front of the helmet, rifle, and boots of a fallen friend.  The documentation of the most intimate moments of sheer heartbreaking, world-shattering, grief and loss of Mrs. Cathey has indeed become as founded in me as is “The Kiss” in NYC after WWII – but in an entirely different way.

Memorial Day – A time to remember those who have given all for us – and to never forget the ones at home who have lost all for us.  The ones who, like Mrs. Cathey, would love nothing more than to crawl right into the grave with their loved ones – but who do, in fact, take each step, each day, one foot in front of the other.  Heroes, every one.

So, yes, my baby brother had it absolutely right – On Memorial Day, a day that has come to be “the first day of tourist season” or “the first day down the shore,” perhaps we need to pick a different day to mark those things.  Let us leave Memorial Day for quiet moments of thought, reflection, remembrance, and respect – for all who serve, in and out of any uniform, on any given day.  Because, in truth, as the song says (and I paraphrase here) – They all give some; and some give all.

After taking a look at my blood pressure, the doctor decreed that, in addition to increasing medication intake for stress and anxiety, I must, immediately, lower my stress level.  Yeah, I looked at the doctor like he had four heads.  He was kidding right?  I looked around, ready for the PUNK’d team to jump out at me.

When they didn’t, and he didn’t look like he was morphing into Ashton Kutcher, I quietly explained to him, in detail, that my life is stressful.  I was born into stress.  I am in a little cocoon of stress.  It is just simply part of who I am.  I operate best under stress.  I’m a Type-A personality.

My doctor, a very large believer and proponent of Eastern philosophy and medicine used in conjunction with Western medicine, nodded indulgently as I went through my diatribe.  There were simply too many stressful things in my life for him to seriously consider a reduction in my stress levels.

He clearly didn’t understand.

Because, he proceeded to say the two words I loathe more than life itself.   Yoga and Meditation.

For those of you who know me, I know you’re all sitting there thinking –  Inconceivable!  (I know I was!)

You also know that I have never, ever, ever been able to give myself over to the world that is “yoga.”   I could list off all the reasons for that.  My brain doesn’t shut off.  It’s too still.  It’s too quiet.  It’s too… yoga.  I do *not* do “New Age.”

However, in addition to increasing my medication in an effort to chemically reduce my stress and save myself from a long family history of heart disease and early heart attacks, he was quite clear.  I have little choice.  I must learn to embrace something which alleviates stress, promotes relaxation, and reduces my blood pressure.

No amount of begging and pleading on my part changed his mind.  I decided I’d give myself the weekend and start on Monday.  Yeah, that sounded like a good idea, right?

So this morning I got up and worked my way through the first yoga lesson.  Yes, by 5 minutes in I wanted to kill someone.  After 20 minutes I was ready to just let the stress have its own way if I never ever had to do this again.  By the end of 45 minutes, I couldn’t get up off the floor fast enough.

But, I made it through the whole 45 minutes.  I’m taking that as a mark in the “win” column and calling it “progress.”  Who knows, one of these days I may look back and think “what was it I didn’t like??”  (I’m not holding my breath, but it could happen).

What about you?  What do you do to manage stress?  How do you get over the ‘hardest part’ (the beginning) of starting a new good habit?

Enjoy!

Irish Soda Bread

(P.S.: I love CareBears – always have – who doesn’t love cuddly and loving bears who can “CareBear stare” their frenemies??)

St. Patrick’s Day in our house has always been about tradition. (The Irish do love their history and traditions!) The potatoes and carrots are peeled early in the morning, cabbage is washed and cornbeef is prepped. Yeah, I know, all standard fare across the country. *BUT* the best thing about St. Patrick’s Day is my mom baking the Irish Soda Bread, a secret recipe for which has been passed down for generations. It’s printed on an index card that has tons of gunked-on flour and finger print marks – all of which remind us that generations of women have done this same ritual countless years before us.

While the Irish soda bread is baking (with raisins and without caraway seeds, thankyouverymuch), the corned beef and cabbage are put to the stove, the most beloved part of the day starts.

Watching “The Quiet Man.”

This year is the 60th anniversary of “The Quiet Man” (John Wayne and Maureen O’Hara). I can’t remember a year when I didn’t watch it, actually. I would laugh at me list and smile as she plucked her hat up off the post at the derby and stomped her way off in a huff. The song “Wild Colonial Boy” is one that pops into my head at any given time of the year and always makes me think of John Wayne. I think it was the first John Wayne I can remember watching with my dad and thus began a long list of favorites staring him. But none of them could ever beat the smoldering sexy heat he had as he kicked in the locked door or drug Maureen O’Hara from the train station across the fields and to her brothers place. John Wayne in that role is my perfect male.

So, this year I’ll be eating warm Irish soda bread (with melting butter of course) and begging my mom to make a second batch (so there’s definitely some for dinner too!) and watching my favorite alpha male do what he does best – get the girl.

Hopefully, this year, YOU will be joining the rest of the authors and I on the mega blog hop! Carrie Ann Ryan did a great job organizing 125 authors together for a mega lucky leprechaun leap. Two lucky winners names will be drawn from across the comments on all 125 blogs to win one of 2 Grand Prizes:
- Choice of an Amazon Fire or Barnes and Noble Nook Tablet.
- A $90 Gift Certificate to either Amazon or Barnes and Noble.

Here on my blog I’ll be giving away a personalized, autographed digital copy of my book, 3 Christmas Wishes.

So, leave me a comment here and tell me about your best St. Patricks Day tradition, story, etc. Then, go read the rest of the authors St. Patricks Day posts. (I promise, even with the word Christmas in the title, its a great read for any time of year.)

Have a wonderful St. Patricks Day!

Wrong.

This morning I was looking online for a reminder about how to adjust bra band size in relation to the cup size.  As I’m doing that, I find this link with the accompanying video:   http://www.wikihow.com/Unhook-a-Bra

Now, really, at first I thought this article was geared towards girls who didn’t have anyone to ask.  Ok, I guess I can go there but really it made me sad that in today’s society there were still girls who felt like they had no one to reach out to.  I would have hoped, with all of our advancements, that we’d be beyond the 1950′s.  Then, however, I read this line:

“(This can be done via a pinching action of one’s fingers, even through a top, much to her astonishment.)”

Wow.  suddenly this “resource” jumped in my mind from “wow, ok, this could be a good resource for girls who need it, but gee, it’s sad that girls still need this” to    ”what the hell are we (as a society) doing putting a wiki page up for guys to learn how to take a girls’ bra off?”  That was all *before* I saw the video.

Now, I’m really not a prude.  I read and write erotic fiction for crying out loud.  I am, however, a proponent for teaching our children to have respect.  Respect for others, but also for themselves.  Where is that message in this?  I’m a firm believer in the theory: we get exactly the kind of adults we deserve.  Meaning, we get the kind of adults based on the kinds of children we, as a society, teach and raise.  What kind of generation are we going to deserve?

So, then I have to ask myself, what are we reaching out there and teaching them?  ”Much to her astonishment?”   Are you kidding me?  If she’s astonished that you’re taking her bra off, we need to pause a moment and consider what that statement really says.  Why are we not teaching them that?  Why are we not teaching our girls that they can put the brakes on and say, “whoa, wait” or even that they can, and should, take their own bra off?  What we really need to be teaching our boys and young men that it’s not okay to be “astonishing” (her) by magically removing her bra.   We need to teach them to slow down.  Talk about it.  What’s the rush?  Maybe I feel a little like Melissa Harris-Perry this morning.  It’s not that I don’t know that this happens, but I think it needs to be addressed.  We need to see what’s out there – what we’re teaching our younger generations and what message we’re giving them (or not giving them).

If you continue after the video, there are multiple other videos “How to hide a hickey,”  ”How to tell your boyfriend he’s a bad kisser,” (ok, so that one might be valid… I don’t know, I didn’t look), and, truly, the top of this rather auspicious list, “How to put a move on a girl while watching a movie.”

This has really gotten my dander up.  So weigh in and tell me what you think.  Am I just old fashioned and really, when it comes to our kids, a prude?  Are these “wiki” articles/videos as truly unpalatable as I feel it is.  Should we be teaching/coaching/etc our younger men and women how to do these things (or that these things are acceptable) – or is it just another wiki page and in this age of computer everything lives, is this just another way to “go to your friends” and get the answers?

To celebrate my Irish roots, I’m jumping in for my first blog hop with Carrie Ann Ryan’s St. Patrick’s day Blog Hop!

March 16th you’ll get to hear about some of my very favorite and special St. Patrick’s Day traditions as well as get a chance to hop over to 125 other authors’ blogs and see what their St. Patrick’s theme discussions are.

Oh, did I mention there will be a drawing for *TWO* Grand Prizes?!  The names of two lucky readers who leave comments on our blog hop will be drawn for:

1. A choice of either an Amazon Kindle Fire or a Barnes and Noble Nook Tablet
   AND
2. A $90 Gift Card for either Amazon or Barnes and Noble

So join us on our amazing blog hop as we pain the blogs green and hopefully gain a little luck of the Irish!

This is Joshua.  He’s a 21-year-old son of author Maxwell Cynn. Max writes speculative fiction, science fiction, and romance.  Joshua was diagnosed with Acute T-cell Lymphoblastic Leukemia.  He’s studying philosophy and carrying a 4.0 GPA after 3.5 years; his studies have now been suspended to fight this incredible battle.

The writing community has come together to help support Max and his family with an IndieGoGo project.  IndieGoGo is a lot like Kickstarter.  In exchange for donations to help Max and his family cover the outrageous expenses of cancer treatment, hospital stays, etc, the donor gets to choose a gift.  Authors and literary professionals across the board (editors, social media coaches, etc) have all come together to offer services, books, consultations – pretty much anything they can – to get this project to its goal of $10,000.

We lost our battle after 2.5 years.  My dad fought – tried every treatment possible – did everything he could to stay active and positive and fighting.  In the end, his body just couldn’t hold on any longer and he slipped away from us.  During his fight we solidified bonds with our new “family,” people who had gone through or who were going through the battle themselves.  We, regretfully, saw new people come into that family and we opened our arms to them.

My dad was a warrior.  He was given a death sentence and he still fought – mostly for us.  He didn’t want to leave us alone.  Since he’s gone, I’ve picked up the fight.  I participate in Relay for Life each year.  I spread awareness.  I do things like this – spreading the word about other warriors in the “cancer family.”  We do what we can with what we have – I have a platform, as small as it is, to share this with others, so I do.

I encourage each of you to go support Joshua’s IndieGoGo campaign.  If you’re a part of the literary ask how you can help. If you’re not, please make a donation or repost on Facebook or Twitter or G+. Do *something*.  I’m not asking you to do what you can’t – but I’m asking you to do whatever it is you can do to help this amazing young man and his family, new initiates to  ”the cancer family.”

Cancer doesn’t discriminate.  It doesn’t “skip” people because they’re bright rising stars; or hit because they’re old and have lived a good life.   To fight cancer, we must all come together.

Together, we can make a difference; one fight at a time.  I’m sure, like my family, it will mean everything to Joshua’s family that people have cared enough to take the time to read his story, repost/Facebook/Tweet, and yes, even donate.   It will remind them they are *not* alone in this fight.  Some days, it will be all they have to keep going and fighting.  — In the end, win or lose, those things are what will be hallmarks of their journey.

As I’ve gotten older, some things haven’t changed.  I still like to read series.  I still have favorite authors.  I still will consider recommendations (although now most of my friends are readers or authors, so I have plenty more recommendations coming my way!)

What is different?  The number of books available have become almost overwhelming.  I’m more likely to branch out and try a new author or title.  I have an eReader, allowing me the ability to have thousands of books at my fingertips.

The truth is, the day that is intended to be the most romantic of the whole year (thank you Hallmark) is really one of my least favorite holidays.  It’s true.  I am staunchly anti Valentine’s Day.

I can hear you all screaming “Why?”  It’s intended to be a day where you tell the people you love how much they mean to you, right?  What could be wrong with that?  We need more love in the world.  How could I snub Valentine’s Day??

Here’s my problem with Valentine’s Day

First, much like writing romance, it’s a lot more glamorous in the pictures and movies, even books, than it is in real life.   Which, I could deal with.  Many things in life are.  I should know, I write about the things that are outrageously impractical and improbable.

However, and much more importantly, do we really need one single day to be carved out to tell the important people in our lives that we love them?  Do we need a major commercial chain to tell us ‘Hey, today’s the day you’re supposed to be nice and loving!’

If we do, I say we’re a pretty lacking society as a whole.

I choose to be anti-valentine’s day – and I challenge others to do the same.  Remember each day to tell the people who are important in your life how much you love them and appreciate them.  Don’t wait for a greeting card company to come along and remind you not to take people for granted.  Buy a carnation and give it to someone, not because it’s the day for it but because you just felt inspired to see them smile and brighten their day.

So, my friends, buck the trend.  Be anti Valentine’s Day and make it a Valentine’s year!

Artistic Vision is the story of the third Dunne sibling, Shane, and Arkane, Blade to Robin the Hob himself. Personally, *this* is one of the two books of the series I’ve been craving for most. Why? Because we’ve been teased and set up for this through the first 2 books!  We’ve rooted for Shane. We’ve watched Arkane and wondered about her, and her lineage. We finally get answers!

Except, of course, in true Dana Marie Bell fashion, we are left with a set up and far more questions than answers.  I mean, ok, we now know *how* Shane and Arkane get together. But… but… so many more things we don’t know!

The true talent of Dana Marie came in the form of the huge *TWIST* that drops you into the middle of the book and you find out who her “un sub” (unidentified subject for the non-Criminal Minds people!) is.  Talk about raising stakes?  She does it in spades!  And just when you don’t think there’s anywhere left to go?  Bam!  Here’s another one.  Right up to the last page, actually.

On the final pages, I really thought I’d figured out where book 4 was going to go.  I was wrong.  Sincerely wrong.  *hangs head in shame*

As a new reader of Dana Marie’s work, I started with the Halle shifters.  I read through all of those and finally, on a Dana Marie Bell crash, I broke down and read Dare To Believe, absolutely positive I wasn’t going to really like it as much as the Halle books.  I’m here to step up and say I not only liked it, but had Gray Court #2 pre-ordered.  It too exceeded my expectations (I really had no clue how she was going to pull off #2 and was thrilled that she did it so brilliantly!).  But Artistic Vision has blown both of them out of the water.  Absolute must read on my list.

So, for an absolutely amazing, plot turning, stake-raising, pulse pounding book that kept the pages turning and *fast* – Artistic Vision gets

 5/5  Writing Stars!

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Want to know more about Dana Marie Bell?  You can find her on her website, on her blog, and on Facebook.  Check her out and be sure to say hi!  She loves connecting with readers and she’s tons of fun.  (PS – If you haven’t read the Halle or Pocono series by her – also *highly* recommended!)